


Tricksters Don't Cry

by Corvid_Knight



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), M/M, Trickster Mode, Tricksters, but this is okay, god i hate trickster mode, my tumblr is knight-of-heart-and-art, you know how dirk and jake broke up? yeah this is how they got back together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 08:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12836904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvid_Knight/pseuds/Corvid_Knight
Summary: The aftermath of Rose and Kanaya's wedding as it impacts a certain pointy-shades idiot and British-sounding dork. In other words, why Dirk and Jake needs to learn to fucking talk to people.





	Tricksters Don't Cry

You have lost track of Jake.

  How in the hell did you manage that?

  You sigh, adjust your shades, and survey the wreckage of what was Rose and Kanaya's wedding. The party got...a little wild. Calliope brought one of her trickster lollipops (also known as "alien marriage love drug," also known as "something humans should have no part of"), with the result that you just spent an hour keeping Dave from molesting John, Karkat, and pretty much everyone else here. He's going to have some pretty heavy embarrassment when he finally comes down off it. He's halfway down now, actually, curled up on a chair with a bemused Karkat, hiccupping and giggling at the same time, both of them wrapped in Dave's cape.

  Jake. Focus, Dirk. When was the last time you saw Jake?

  Oh, yeah. Dave apparently decided he wanted to try out your boyfriend. The resulting smooch was...well, you really hated seeing it. Sometimes you're a jealous bitch. (You're off-topic again, and there is really no point in thinking about how you wanted to kill Dave for one short moment there. Seriously, stop thinking about how Jake made that little squeak that you thought he only did when you kissed him...)

  OFF-TOPIC, STRIDER. And painfully so.

  Okay, Dave kissed him. (And you are not thinking of that kiss at all.) Jake turned trickster...what the hell happened next?

  Oh. Yeah.

  Jake took off immediately, and before you could follow him Dave grabbed you and tried to stick his tongue down your throat. Which...yes, he is hot as hell...but genetically he is also your brother. Father. Whatever. The point is, you don't feel right having sloppy makeouts with him.

  Also, Karkat was watching. You'd prefer not to wake up one morning minus your head.

  So you fended Dave off. Then you kept him from overwhelming Karkat—trolls don't get the as much of the sugar-happy personality boost from trickster candy, and being semi-normal and on the receiving end of a trickster's attention can be dangerous unless you know what you're doing—and then you talked him out of going back in time and bringing back past-Karkat. One thing kept leading to another, and somehow you haven't had a Dave-free minute until now.

  So where the heck did Jake go? Usually, tricksters go straight to whoever they're in love with, and he's not here.

  (And yes. You know he might be with someone else right now. He probably is. It isn't like you and him are actually dating anymore. This line of thought hurts more than thinking about Jake kissing Dave.)

  Regardless of any of that, you still need to find him before he causes too much trouble. You just have no idea where to start.

  But, now that you think about it, you know someone who does. 

 

timaeusTestified (TT) started pestering Arquiusprite^2 (ARQUIUS)

TT: Hal?  
TT: Look, I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but I could use a little help here.  
TT: Actually, let me rephrase that: I really need help. Please.

ARQUIUS: Wow, something I've never got out of you: "please."  
ARQUIUS: And seriously. It's ARquius. not Hal anymore.

TT: Okay then.  
TT: Arquius.  
TT: Is there any way I can convince you to use that vaguely defined spritely omniscience to see where Jake is?

ARQUIUS: ...  
ARQUIUS: Done.

TT: Um.  
TT: Could you, I don't know, tell me?  
TT: Please?

ARQUIUS: You must be really freaking out if you're being polite to me.  
ARQUIUS: I'll tell you where he is IF you tell me why you chose to call me instead of one of the other sprites.

 

  You sigh again, at that. Damn the AR and all the games he likes to play. Especially since they all seem to feature "Dirk confronting something he really doesn't feel like thinking about." Maybe the most annoying part about that is that you know it's probably because of some aspect of your own personality that you repress or some shit.

TT: Truthfully?  
TT: I hate asking for help, and asking you is only half a step removed from doing it myself.  
TT: Is that what you were hoping to hear?

ARQUIUS: Not really. I didn't really "hope" to hear anything to be honest.  
ARQUIUS: Although it does prove that you're still just as messed up as you were before we parted company.

TT: Thanks, Arquius.  
TT: Your aspersions on my mental state are exactly what I need right now.  
TT: This makes everything so much better.

ARQUIUS: Wow, set phasers to "sarcasm!"

TT: Arquius...

ARQUIUS: Okay, okay.  
ARQUIUS: I've marked his location on your GPS.  
ARQUIUS: Is that all you need?

TT: Yeah.  
: Thanks, Arquius.

timaeusTestified (TT) stopped pestering Arquiusprite^2 (ARQUIUS).

 

  It takes a little wandering around to figure out exactly where Jake is, even with the GPS. When you do finally realize that he's in Kanaya's closet, you have to roll your eyes. Here you are worrying about him, and he's probably in there making out with Aranea or something...

  But because you're both a paranoid idiot and a masochistic fuck, you open the door anyway.

  "Jake?" He hasn't got anyone in here. The light's off, and you flick it on to see him huddled in the far corner, hugging his knees to his chest. All you can really see is a mop of neon-green hair. "What are you doing?"

  "I don't want it." His voice is muffled because he doesn't raise his head, but he doesn't sound like he's all the way trickster. He still sounds almost normal. "Dirk, I'm sorry..."

  "Hey." You step all the way into the closet, shuttting the door behind you, and kneel next to him. "What are you talking about?"

  "This." He looks up, at you, and if you weren't so used to keeping all your reactions perfectly under control you'd have flinched. There are tears on Jake's face, pale green tears that look so, so wrong. "I...don't want to be this."

  "Jake, how..." Tricksters don't cry. It's not possible; one of the effects of the cherub candy is to basically turn off regrets, inhibitions, and almost every other negative emotion. But Jake's sitting in front of you, being impossible. "What's wrong?" Forget whether or not it's possible, actually. You just want it to stop. You can't stand seeing him in tears.

  You go to wipe the tears off his face, and stop when he flinches away. Okay, something is very wrong. You remember the last time he went trickster; he wanted to touch you, kiss you, wrap himself around you like a second skin.

  "Don't—" He shudders, hard, and scoots an inch farther away from you. "Dirk, I am barely holding on as things stand now. The trickster...it wants me to give in...so much."

  You didn't know it was possible to fight off being trickster, but then again there's a lot you don't know about it. You're not even totally sure why you only go halfway when you turn, why your mind stays the same. Actually, yeah you are: as a Prince of Heart, you have the ability to rule your self, to stay under control no matter what happens. And you guess...since Jake's a Page of Hope, he can do whatever he believes he can.

  Watching him shudder, watching the tears roll down his face, you are pretty fucking sure that that is not a good thing.

  "Jake." He was avoiding your eyes; now his gaze snaps to your face. "Just let go. It's okay."

  "N-no—"

  "Why the fuck not?" You bite down on your tongue. The last thing he needs is to know how much he's hurting you. How much you still care, how much you still love him.

  "Y-you." He lowers his head again and starts rocking back and forth. "I want you, I know I want you, and I-I-I..."

  "Oh, Jake..." He's putting himself through this because he doesn't want to get back together with you.

  "I'm sorry." That's muffled, but you can hear it just fine. "So—so sorry..."

  "Stop. Just stop, okay?" You grab his shoulders, trying not to wince at his panicked gasp. He tries to curl into a tighter ball, but you don't let him. "Look. I can go away. Leave you alone until it wears off so you don't do anything you don't want to—"

  "Please—no!" Having your hands on him is like touching a live wire, he shaking so hard. "Don't, don't leave me, I'm s-s-sorry..."

  Oh, god.

  He thinks you don't love him anymore.

  "I'm sorry. D-Dirk, I—"

  "Shh." You let go of him for one second, just long enough to slip your shades off and lay them on one of the shelves. "No. This is fine. I'm fine with this, Jake." When he looks up, you kiss him, closing your eyes so you don't have to see how teary his are.

  You can handle being trickster. You hate it, it's depressing as hell, but it's not going to hurt you like fighting it is hurting Jake.

  As soon as your lips touch his, Jake goes utterly still. He makes a noise that's either a soft cry of "no" or a moan—you can't tell which.

  You can't feel the change in your head yet. Going trickster isn't going to completely change you like it does everyone else, but you should be able to feel it.

  Jake whimpers into your mouth, gasps, and pulls away just enough to throw his arms around you, knocking you off balance. You barely manage not to topple over as he buries his face in your shirt.

  "What—" His hair. It's not green anymore. For some reason, kissing him turned his trickster off instead of turning yours off. "Jake. It's okay."

  You can't even tell if he heard you. He's clinging to you as if you're the only thing keeping him from falling, breathing too deep and too fast.

  "It's okay. You're okay." If he keeps that up he's going to pass out. "Jake, you need to calm down..." You stroke his hair, a little slower than the rhythm of his breath.

  "I love you," he whispers into your shirt, so quiet you barely hear it.

  And you almost freeze up, because that is literally all you want. You've been telling yourself that you're fine without him, fine just being friends, but you can only lie to other people. Not yourself. You want Jake more than you want to stay alive, and he just said that he still loves you.

  "I love you too." It's inadequate, but it's all you can say. "I love you too, Jake."

  He takes a deep, halfway-calm breath. And then he starts to really cry. You catch a few almost-coherent words, but they don't make sense.

  He cries onto your shirt, and you stroke his hair, you rub his back and make soft shushing noises and wait. Eventually, Jake's sobs taper off and stop. But he doesn't loosen up his grip on you.

  "You okay?" you ask softly.

  He finally raises his head to look at you. "I missed your eyes," he says. "I thought everything was just dandy, but as soon as the trickster popped up all the little things I miss about you added up and I—"

  "Hey, it's okay. It's okay." He's about to start crying again, you can tell. "I'm right here, you don't have to miss me, and I'm not going anywhere."

  Jake takes a deep breath, and finally lets you go. "I'm making a lovely fool out of myself, aren't I?"

  "You got that half right—you're definitely lovely." When he goes red—he never could take a compliment—you continue, "You just managed to shake off the influence of cherub candy without doing…well, anything trickster-like. I'd say that was the opposite of making an fool out of yourself."

  He shudders. "I don't want to ever do that again."

  "Hey, next time just come find me. I'm totally down for going down on you."

  "Dirk!"

  "Or vice versa."

  "Dirk!"

  You weren't aware that Jake was capable of turning that shade of red. "What, you're telling me you didn't want to?"

  "I—I just—no! I mean yes—I mean..." As Jake's stammering, the closet door opens. He freezes, blushing a few shades deeper still.

  You look over your shoulder. "Hey, Kanaya." Yes, this is embarrassing. No, you don't let it show. "You want us to relocate?"

  Kanaya sighs. "You two," she says sternly, "just cost me two weeks worth of making dinner for Rose. I need a shirt off that shelf behind you, Jake."

  "Uh—" Jake just stares at her, so you reach behind him and pull something off the shelf. Maybe it's a shirt, maybe not, but you toss it to Kanaya, and she catches it.

  "Are we good?" you ask her.

  "Of course, although I would have liked it if you could have waited another week. This door has a lock; keep that in mind if you feel like having a bit more privacy." She winks at you—did you really just see that?—and steps back out of the closet, shutting the door behind her.

  You stare after her for a minute, then turn back to Jake. He still looks embarrassed, but now there's a substantial amount of bewilderment thrown in. "Did she," he asks carefully, "did she and Rose have a wager on for if we'd get back together?"

  "I think it was for when we'd get together, actually," you tell him. "Not if." 

  He opens his mouth. Closes it again. And bursts out laughing. You don't see why, but watching him laugh is enough to get you to smile at least.

  He's still laughing when he reaches forward, grabs your head, and pulls you in for another kiss.

  Having him laughing is a thousand times better than having him in tears.  Having him of his own mind versus having him in trickster mode...

  Well. There is no comparison whatsoever.

  And you are more than happy to kiss him back.

**Author's Note:**

> I fixed the chatlogs! (But holy fuck does the base submit box look horrible lmao)


End file.
